urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon candice candice 2009-11-14T13:31:28Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:199656 2009-11-14T13:31:28Z 2009-11-14T13:31:28Z i don't like you. i wish you would go away<br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:199259 2009-11-12T11:20:48Z 2009-11-12T11:20:48Z why am i so hurt?<br /><br />i shouldn't be hurt.<br /><br />i'm supposed to be used to it by now.<br /><br />i mean, 19 years of getting hurt is a long time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:199033 2009-11-12T11:06:00Z 2009-11-12T11:06:00Z i'm tired of all the people at school who bug me. i don't want a farewell party. just. stop. bugging. me.<br /><br />i'm just tired. <br /><br />perhaps i'm a person who's just fated to be bereft of love. because i'm just so sick of even people who dare call themselves my kin not only backstab, but just outright lie about me. and they believe it. <br /><br />i'm just sick of being accused of things that i know i'm innocent of. but in a home where there is no peace, justice has no ears, and even a quiet mutter is unheard. there is no righteous judge. and just be reprimanded, set down, for acts that i am not guilty of. <br /><br />i'm tired of being laughed at, when my goals are not achieved. i'm tired of going for competitions, just to come back empty handed and laughed at. because its reserved for other, better, people. people who deserve such accolades. and i'm just another person who tries hard and gets nothing. maybe its just my fate. <br /><br />fated to be a laughing stock, not believed. fated to just be the brunt of arguments. to face the worse end of things, even things that are not a reciprocal of my actions. <br /><br />i really don't understand why i keep on getting this. getting this. getting it again and again. i tried my best not to. i tried my best to smile. but i really can't. i try my best to look into the eyes of people who i don't like. but i can't.<br /><br />i am not looking forward to spending a month in a place where i cannot even muster a genuine smile. <br /><br /><br /><br />can i please don't go? they hurt me there. <br /><br />please don't let me go back. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:198811 2009-11-12T10:48:25Z 2009-11-12T10:48:25Z its just kind of disappointing. sigh. with people working so hard, and people doing nothing but aggravating it...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i kind of wish that i have a normal family. or at least a family that loves me. <br /><br /><br />but i guess God allows things to happen that no one understands why...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />sigh. sometimes i wish that i would be alone here, so that i wouldn't have to fake a cheery voice saying that i'm alright. cos i'm sick of faking to people i don't trust, and don't want people to know otherwise. its my burden to bear. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:198406 2009-11-11T11:01:39Z 2009-11-11T11:01:39Z A levels is so weird. <br /><br />Like Wayne says, its a freak year. Its not that the papers are tough. It's just weird. And requires more application than anything. In a word, freaky. <br /><br />Hopefully Chem will do well, my concepts aren't that strong. <br /><br />Wakakakakekekekekikikikokokokukukuku<br /><br />Just envisioning this moment next year where I&nbsp;will get my results and it will be good. And it keeps pressing me to just work as hard as I&nbsp;can now. (: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:198262 2009-11-11T10:57:53Z 2009-11-11T10:57:53Z I&nbsp;don't know how some people can make a pristine good thing totally bad o.O;; But I guess I'm somewhat relieved to not be a part of it? Blah. Ok, feel a bit rejected but must stay optimistic this way!!<br /><br />Chem FTW. I hope the paper 3 will be nice to me tomorrow. It has never been o.O;;<br /><br />Loi. Loc. I dunno how to go about that o.O;;<br /><br />Pet shop!!&nbsp;:D&nbsp;<br /><br />The more I do, the sooner it ends (= Jiayous J2 peepol. (=<br /><br />I'm trying not to drink coffee! Be proud of me (= urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:197952 2009-11-10T11:35:52Z 2009-11-10T11:35:52Z thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in His name; thanks be to God who always causes us to win (: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:197878 2009-11-09T03:37:13Z 2009-11-09T03:37:13Z 4 years in Singapore. 2 years of JC&nbsp;education. An abstract mesh of emotions, vacillating sadness and joy. <br /><br />All of it boils down to this final two week battle. <br /><br />C'mon boys and girls, we can do this (: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:197523 2009-10-31T15:15:37Z 2009-10-31T15:15:37Z Assuming ppl don't read this blog cos hardly anyone comments...And to ppl who actually read the blog, it won't affect you...<br /><br />Papers finished: (Cos I&nbsp;can't keep track anymore)<br /><br />Chemistry<br />2006<br />2007<br />2008<br />AJC<br />ACJC (Before Prelim)<br />JJC<br />NJC<br />NYJC<br />PJC&nbsp;(Mock Exam)<br />RJC<br />SAJC<br />SRJC<br />TJC&nbsp;(look through only cos dun have answer key)<br />YJC<br /><br />Havent done:<br />CJC<br />DHS<br />HCI<br />MJC<br />TPJC<br />VJC<br /><br /><br /><br />Maths:<br />Done:<br />2007<br />2008<br />ACJC<br />JJC<br />NJC<br />TPJC<br /><br /><br />Lol ok looks like need to focus on maths alr (= urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:197305 2009-10-29T14:55:13Z 2009-10-29T14:55:13Z <div class="UIComposer_InputArea_Base UIComposer_InputArea"><div class="UIComposer_InputShadow"><div contenteditable="true" class="Mentions_Input" style="width: 512px;">scare can't sleep well tonight; too many things in mind. <br />wishes the voices will stop screaming in my head.<br /><br />stop. screaming.<br /><br />hates it when people lie and just tell the truth in the last minute.</div></div></div><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:196971 2009-10-22T01:47:15Z 2009-10-22T01:47:15Z maths mock got a C!!&nbsp;this is so encouraging (= urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:196809 2009-10-21T15:37:28Z 2009-10-21T15:37:28Z I don't need to justify my thoughts and my actions, when i know with conviction that i am doing what is best for me.<br /><br />so keep your opinions to yourself and whoever is interested. cos i'm not. <br /><br /><br /><br />my finger's bleeding. hopefully can still press GC (:<br /><br /><br />happy 4th anniversary batch 7 (: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:196579 2009-10-21T15:35:12Z 2009-10-21T15:35:12Z i don't see a need to justify myself to you, when in fact i know with conviction what i'm doing is right.<br /><br />keep your opinions to whoever is willing to listen. because i'm not. there is no demand.<br /><br /><br />oh. my finger is bleeding. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:196193 2009-10-21T15:27:19Z 2009-10-21T15:27:19Z I won't let you steal away the victory that is mine to claim (: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:196030 2009-10-20T14:07:04Z 2009-10-20T14:07:04Z Dear whoever,<br /><br />I'm tired. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:195636 2009-10-12T14:25:08Z 2009-10-12T14:25:08Z somehow i think that if i died no one would really notice that im gone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:195350 2009-10-04T08:32:22Z 2009-10-04T08:32:22Z there are so many things that i need to do.<br /><br />sometimes i wish i could just dig a hole and die. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:195313 2009-10-04T08:20:23Z 2009-10-04T08:20:23Z Is this what you have called me to be? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:195062 2009-10-01T13:56:11Z 2009-10-01T13:56:11Z I pray that You will sustain me throughout these trials. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:194639 2009-09-29T13:07:11Z 2009-09-29T13:07:11Z I think JC&nbsp;education makes people insensitive to failure. You just get it so often. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:194539 2009-09-29T12:07:06Z 2009-09-29T12:07:06Z Lord, teach me how to forgive. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:194149 2009-09-28T13:02:28Z 2009-09-28T13:02:28Z <pre> Everyday feels like a Monday There is no escaping from the heartache Now I want to put it back together 'Cause it's always better late than never Wishing I could be in California I wanna tell you when I call you I could've fallen in love I wish I'd falling in love Out of our minds and out of time Wishing I could be with you to share the view We could've fallen in love </pre><pre> Waking up to people talking and it's getting later every morning Now I realise it's nearly midday And I've wasted half my life to throw it away Singing everyday should be a new day To make you smile and find a new way of falling in love I could've fallen in love Out of our minds Out of time Wishing I could be with you to share the view </pre><pre> Sick of waiting I can't take it Gotta tell ya </pre><pre> I can't take another night on my own So I take a breath and then I pick up the phone she said We could've fallen in love I wish I'd fallen in love</pre> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:193916 2009-09-28T12:55:27Z 2009-09-28T12:55:27Z There's just too many things to do. And I'm dying from the exhaustion before its even supposed to begin.<br /><br />Why must we be inundated with work so early now?&nbsp;Blahs. <br /><br />Should I&nbsp;get ready to be disappointed? It would lessen the blow. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>Dear God, I'm really praying that you grant me peace now. That you grant me a change of heart that would save me from this negativity. I pray that I'll be a thermostat instead of a thermometer, not being a product of my environment. Lord, I&nbsp;pray for strength as I'm getting my results this week, I pray that You will bring me through all the disappointment, and remind me that You'll always be here to set things in Your plan. I pray that You will just be with me every step of the way, because I&nbsp;can't handle this on my own. Amen. </em><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:193555 2009-09-28T02:08:30Z 2009-09-28T02:08:30Z Homework to do:<br /><br />Econs Lect: <br />Essay 1, 4, and 5 (qns not chosen in exam)<br /><br />Econs Tut:<br />2007 A level Essay, qn 2 and 3<br /><br />Maths Lect:<br />Bring Paper 2, MF15 and GC (duh)<br /><br />Maths Tut: <br />I dunno<br /><br />Chem Lect and Tut:<br />I dunno urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:clandestinemoon:193468 2009-09-27T12:49:25Z 2009-09-27T12:49:25Z Ngtataka lng kng bkt npka-user friendly mo. Hrm. Hays. Bahala n, alam mo rn nmn n hnd aq mabilis paki-usapan kng alam kng may plano ka n gwin.. Hmm..