Unscripted

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:31:28 GMT

i don't like you. i wish you would go away

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:20:48 GMT

why am i so hurt?

i shouldn't be hurt.

i'm supposed to be used to it by now.

i mean, 19 years of getting hurt is a long time.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:06:00 GMT

i'm tired of all the people at school who bug me. i don't want a farewell party. just. stop. bugging. me.

i'm just tired.

perhaps i'm a person who's just fated to be bereft of love. because i'm just so sick of even people who dare call themselves my kin not only backstab, but just outright lie about me. and they believe it.

i'm just sick of being accused of things that i know i'm innocent of. but in a home where there is no peace, justice has no ears, and even a quiet mutter is unheard. there is no righteous judge. and just be reprimanded, set down, for acts that i am not guilty of.

i'm tired of being laughed at, when my goals are not achieved. i'm tired of going for competitions, just to come back empty handed and laughed at. because its reserved for other, better, people. people who deserve such accolades. and i'm just another person who tries hard and gets nothing. maybe its just my fate.

fated to be a laughing stock, not believed. fated to just be the brunt of arguments. to face the worse end of things, even things that are not a reciprocal of my actions.

i really don't understand why i keep on getting this. getting this. getting it again and again. i tried my best not to. i tried my best to smile. but i really can't. i try my best to look into the eyes of people who i don't like. but i can't.

i am not looking forward to spending a month in a place where i cannot even muster a genuine smile.

can i please don't go? they hurt me there.

please don't let me go back.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:48:25 GMT

its just kind of disappointing. sigh. with people working so hard, and people doing nothing but aggravating it...

i kind of wish that i have a normal family. or at least a family that loves me.

but i guess God allows things to happen that no one understands why...

sigh. sometimes i wish that i would be alone here, so that i wouldn't have to fake a cheery voice saying that i'm alright. cos i'm sick of faking to people i don't trust, and don't want people to know otherwise. its my burden to bear.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:01:39 GMT

A levels is so weird.

Like Wayne says, its a freak year. Its not that the papers are tough. It's just weird. And requires more application than anything. In a word, freaky.

Hopefully Chem will do well, my concepts aren't that strong.

Wakakakakekekekekikikikokokokukukuku

Just envisioning this moment next year where I will get my results and it will be good. And it keeps pressing me to just work as hard as I can now. (:

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:57:53 GMT

I don't know how some people can make a pristine good thing totally bad o.O;; But I guess I'm somewhat relieved to not be a part of it? Blah. Ok, feel a bit rejected but must stay optimistic this way!!

Chem FTW. I hope the paper 3 will be nice to me tomorrow. It has never been o.O;;

Loi. Loc. I dunno how to go about that o.O;;

Pet shop!! :D

The more I do, the sooner it ends (= Jiayous J2 peepol. (=

I'm trying not to drink coffee! Be proud of me (=

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:35:52 GMT

thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in His name; thanks be to God who always causes us to win (:

A levels

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:37:13 GMT

4 years in Singapore. 2 years of JC education. An abstract mesh of emotions, vacillating sadness and joy.

All of it boils down to this final two week battle.

C'mon boys and girls, we can do this (:

Crazy A level preparations

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:15:37 GMT

Assuming ppl don't read this blog cos hardly anyone comments...And to ppl who actually read the blog, it won't affect you...

Papers finished: (Cos I can't keep track anymore)

Chemistry
2006
2007
2008
AJC
ACJC (Before Prelim)
JJC
NJC
NYJC
PJC (Mock Exam)
RJC
SAJC
SRJC
TJC (look through only cos dun have answer key)
YJC

Havent done:
CJC
DHS
HCI
MJC
TPJC
VJC

Maths:
Done:
2007
2008
ACJC
JJC
NJC
TPJC

Lol ok looks like need to focus on maths alr (=

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:55:13 GMT

scare can't sleep well tonight; too many things in mind.
wishes the voices will stop screaming in my head.

stop. screaming.

hates it when people lie and just tell the truth in the last minute.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:47:15 GMT

maths mock got a C!! this is so encouraging (=

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:37:28 GMT

I don't need to justify my thoughts and my actions, when i know with conviction that i am doing what is best for me.

so keep your opinions to yourself and whoever is interested. cos i'm not.

my finger's bleeding. hopefully can still press GC (:

happy 4th anniversary batch 7 (:

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:35:12 GMT

i don't see a need to justify myself to you, when in fact i know with conviction what i'm doing is right.

keep your opinions to whoever is willing to listen. because i'm not. there is no demand.

oh. my finger is bleeding.

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:27:19 GMT

I won't let you steal away the victory that is mine to claim (:

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:07:04 GMT

Dear whoever,

I'm tired.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:25:08 GMT

somehow i think that if i died no one would really notice that im gone

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:32:22 GMT

there are so many things that i need to do.

sometimes i wish i could just dig a hole and die.

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:20:23 GMT

Is this what you have called me to be?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:56:11 GMT

I pray that You will sustain me throughout these trials.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:07:11 GMT

I think JC education makes people insensitive to failure. You just get it so often.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:07:06 GMT

Lord, teach me how to forgive.

McFLY - Fallen in Love

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:02:28 GMT

Everyday feels like a Monday
There is no escaping from the heartache
Now I want to put it back together 
'Cause it's always better late than never 
Wishing I could be in California 
I wanna tell you when I call you 
I could've fallen in love 
I wish I'd falling in love


Out of our minds and out of time
Wishing I could be with you to share the view


We could've fallen in love

Waking up to people talking and it's getting later every morning
Now I realise it's nearly midday 
And I've wasted half my life to throw it away 
Singing everyday should be a new day 
To make you smile and find a new way of falling in love 
I could've fallen in love


Out of our minds
Out of time
Wishing I could be with you to share the view

Sick of waiting
I can't take it 
Gotta tell ya

I can't take another night on my own 
So I take a breath and then I pick up the phone she said
We could've fallen in love
I wish I'd fallen in love

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:55:27 GMT

There's just too many things to do. And I'm dying from the exhaustion before its even supposed to begin.

Why must we be inundated with work so early now? Blahs.

Should I get ready to be disappointed? It would lessen the blow.

Dear God, I'm really praying that you grant me peace now. That you grant me a change of heart that would save me from this negativity. I pray that I'll be a thermostat instead of a thermometer, not being a product of my environment. Lord, I pray for strength as I'm getting my results this week, I pray that You will bring me through all the disappointment, and remind me that You'll always be here to set things in Your plan. I pray that You will just be with me every step of the way, because I can't handle this on my own. Amen.

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:08:30 GMT

Homework to do:

Econs Lect:
Essay 1, 4, and 5 (qns not chosen in exam)

Econs Tut:
2007 A level Essay, qn 2 and 3

Maths Lect:
Bring Paper 2, MF15 and GC (duh)

Maths Tut:
I dunno

Chem Lect and Tut:
I dunno

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 12:49:25 GMT

Ngtataka lng kng bkt npka-user friendly mo. Hrm. Hays. Bahala n, alam mo rn nmn n hnd aq mabilis paki-usapan kng alam kng may plano ka n gwin.. Hmm..